Monday, August 31, 2009

What Not to Wear

I tempted fate today and wore white pants for the second day in a row. It was a different pair, mind you, but the challenge was to see if I could get through another day without spilling or dropping something on them... or worse. Like the day when the car door slammed shut on my leg! There was a grease stain on the outside of my pant leg and blood on the inside- double whammy. Naturally, those are the days I am caught without my handy Tide to Go pen or Shout wipes.

So back to the white pants. I survived yesterday in a pair of Polo capris which I kept spotless through baking blueberry muffins, rinsing out a heavy crock pot of cheesy soup that had been soaking overnight, an hour and a half road trip, hubby's company picnic where I consumed baked beans, potato salad, and a grilled pork chop sandwich--complete with ketchup and mustard, pickles, and tomato slices. My only protection was one thin paper napkin that came in cellophane wrap with my spork and knife. After no lunch mishaps, I thought sure the tour through his factory would render some sort of stain momento but again I managed to escape unblemished.

So why would I test the law of averages and repeat the challenge today? Because Labor Day is coming and I only have 8 days to wear my precious bargain white jeans before the fashion alarms rings and it's time to put away the white.... I think.

Is this still true? My southern upbringing carries many rules to remember and I just don't know if they still apply these days. For instance:
  • No white after Labor Day or before Easter (same for straw handbags and linen clothing)
  • Don't mix patterns
  • Redheads shouldn't wear red (or pink, or gray)
  • Jewelry metals should all match
  • Shoes and Handbag should match
  • No mini skirts after 35-- no wait, that one came from "What Not to Wear"
I like to think of myself as an observer of trends and as one who fundamentally can put together a decent looking outfit, but when I go with The Princess into stores like Forever 21 and Heritage--I think to myself, there are no rules--they have done away with the rules--it's a generation in clothing chaos. Nothing makes sense to me! They mix all kinds of prints and colors. Skinny over loose, loose over skinny. ..metallics with tweed... velvet in the could drive a middle aged mother crazy! So with her, I just smile and say, "that looks cute" (and it does) and don't try to analyze what makes the outfit "work".
But as for me, I'll risk another day and keep on wearing my safe white jeans until the fashion police come calling...or till stains do us part.


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